英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”
音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”
Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”
杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。”
The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”
老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”
Jack said: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”
杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”
最好的解释The Best Explanation
Once in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”
一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”
Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
Tom’s answer was: because our eyes are before ears.
汤姆的回答是：因为眼睛在耳朵的前面。
罗马是什么时候建成的?When Was Rome Built?
Teacher: When was Rome built?
教师：罗马是什么时候建成的?
Tom: At night.
汤姆：夜里。
Teacher: Who told you that?
教师：谁跟你这么说的?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn’t built in a day.
汤姆：是您。英语笑话您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的。
My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him.
我在准备晚饭的时候，我让年仅五岁的儿子把玩具都收拾起来，但他不愿意收。
When I inquired why he wasn’t doing his chores, he said that he didn’t feel like it.
当我问他为什么不收时，英语笑话他说他不想做。
Exasperated, I said, “Where would you be right now if I didn’t feel like making dinner?”
我感到有些恼火，就对他说：“要是我说我不想做晚饭，这时你会在哪里呢?”
He thought for a moment and then replied, “A restaurant.”
他略加思索便回答：“在饭店里。”
When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem.
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，英语笑话总要招来大乱。
One Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly.
一个星期六，我开始抗议了。
“No screaming, grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”
“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许闲谈，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。”
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “Come, Steven, let’s get dirty.”
我刚转身要走，就听到我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
小学英语笑话带翻译一：
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself beingbattered(连续猛击，磨损) by frantic(狂乱的，疯狂的) stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and armsflailing(打，用连枷打) , he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrillvoice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位看起来很高贵的中年男子想给太太买一件。但是不久他就发现自己被疯狂的女人们挤得不成样子了。 他尽力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，猛烈地舞动着手臂挤过人群。 “你干嘛?”有人在尖叫，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?” “听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象位女士。”
小学英语笑话带翻译二：
"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind.""You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."
“啊，可怜的人，”善良的老妇人惊叹道。“脚瘸就够惨的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。”“你说的一点儿没错，”那乞丐说，他显然是乞讨老手。“我眼瞎的时候，人们老是给我外币。”
小学英语笑话带翻译三：
A blonde went into a pizza parlor(客厅，会客室) . When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve.
一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店，她说想要一个中比萨，店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。噢，天啊，请帮我切成六块。女郎说，我可不认为我可以吃得下十二块。
