经典英语笑话7则

英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是本站小编整理的经典英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　经典英语笑话一：A Smart Housewife

精明的家庭主妇

A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That' ll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”

　　经典英语笑话二：Logic Reasoning

逻辑推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you.think she ran to the bank?"

　　经典英语笑话三：A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。

她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么?”

一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款?”

[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。

　　经典英语笑话四：Does the dog know the proverb,too?

狗也知道这个谚语吗?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗?‘吠狗不咬人’。”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”

　　经典英语笑话五：The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”

　　经典英语笑话六：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?” 老师发问道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。

　　经典英语笑话七：Another 40 Years to live

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院， 在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。 上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。 做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。