简短英语幽默笑话精选
笑话在文体上即文学样式上属于小说,因为它和小说“血缘”关系最近。下面是本站小编带来的简短英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!
(一)
耶稣的电视机 Jesus’s Telly
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。
"But what’s that in the corner?" asked Mother.
“可是那个角落里是什么?”妈妈问。
"Oh, that’s their telly," replied the tot.
“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。
(二)
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 I Have His Ear in My Pocket
van came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
“再见到他时你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里呢。”
简短英语幽默笑话阅读(一)
勒索圣诞树 An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
一个孩子求他爸爸，说能不能今年为家里准备一棵圣诞树
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't want to pay for it."
小男孩每年求他爸爸得到的都是同样的回答“我可不想为一棵树付钱。”
But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining, he picks up his axe one day andheads out of the house.
但是小男孩不放弃的一直祈求，终于有一天，他爸被他的哀求折磨得受不了，他拿起一把斧子，直接冲出了门。
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down sofast?" his son asks.
30分钟后，他爸爸带着一棵超大的圣诞树回到了加。他儿子问：“你怎么会砍得那么快?”
"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
他爸爸回答到：“我不是砍的”
"I got it at a tree lot."
“我是从一个圣诞树销售中心拿的”
"Then why did you bring an axe?"
“那你为什么还要带把斧子去呢?”
"Because I didn't want to pay."
“因为我不想付钱”
(二)
快速清扫 Quick Cleanup
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushedaround straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest r, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had beentidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank youfor not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
简短英语幽默笑话学习(一)
我一级也没漏 I Caught Every Step
Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down thestairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。
"Did you miss a step?" asked his dad.
“你是不是踩漏了一级台阶?”爸爸问。
"No, I caught every blessed one!" came the bitter answered.
“不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉!”儿子痛苦地回答。
(二)
我希望如此 I Hope So
Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?
邻居：您认为您的儿子会把在大学里学的东西全忘光吗?
Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!
父亲：我希望这样-他当然不能以吻女孩子谋生吧!
